


Fades Away

by TeaRoses



Category: Hellsing
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-08
Updated: 2010-03-08
Packaged: 2017-10-07 19:30:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/68432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaRoses/pseuds/TeaRoses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Walter is growing older and can feel himself failing, and Millennium is there to catch his fall.</p><p>(Written before the reveal of the facts about Walter and Millennium, but now it can be AU.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fades Away

He had forgotten them. After living so long, after giving up so much, was this what it had come to, that the word Millennium meant nothing to him?

It wasn't as if that was all he had forgotten. He had found himself staring blankly at old photographs, books he had read many times years ago, his mind blank. And he had lied, covered up, left himself notes, done anything he could to conceal the fact that his mind as well as his body was failing.

He had never wanted to grow old and slow, to have his hands and wires become more and more useless, but there were still soldiers to defend Hellsing physically. But the memories of Sir Integral's grandfather, of the deceit of vampires, of how to control Hellsing's monster -- those were all his; these things he needed to hold on to. In the end it was only Millennium that would not let him forget.

The fat man appeared first, on a street corner downtown. He smiled, and Walter knew the smile, knew that the eyes were cruel and amused behind the glasses, but he still could not name the man. Of course he told himself that it was just his mind playing tricks on him, another sign of the impending collapse that he would have to keep secret.

When he saw the woman on the sidewalk near Hellsing, the one with the fresh young face that was still far more calculating than pretty, he knew there were no coincidences. It was the curl in her hair that reminded him, forced him to remember that she had looked just the same during the war and she had been the enemy. He should kill her now, he told himself, if he even could, but before he completed the thought she was gone. And still he did not tell, because there was no one he could really trust, except the one woman he could not possibly allow to see his weakness.

After the Valentine Brothers were gone, even Alucard seemed to notice that his old companion was losing his grip. And it was then that Walter saw the Captain, on the grounds of Hellsing itself. He didn't need to search his mind to remember this man. The man, or wolf-man, though he tried not to think of that, still had the same unbroken expression, the same eyes that were only pretending to be blank. This time Walter reached for the wires, but did so too late, slow again. The Captain reached out and grasped Walter's head, and the old butler waited for death but received a flood of images instead.

First they were of the war, when Walter was a killing machine and destroyed so many. Millennium, and he remembered it all now, was marching and chanting of death. He saw the corpses piled up, and the vampires feeding on them. Alucard was there, in his cool white, and Walter himself, young and brash. Grabbing at the Captain's hands was fruitless, and when Walter opened his mouth he made no sound.

The next thing he saw was the Captain, Captain Hans, looking almost as old as now, but clearly human, clearly nervous, standing nude in a laboratory. They had hurt him; that was much was obvious. If he opened his eyes to see the man now it would be too much, he kept them closed and saw the beautiful youth until that vision faded too. Next, of course, was Walter himself, in that same lab... a new man, dark and fanged and perhaps a bit beautiful again. This was neither an offer nor a threat, Walter quickly understood. It was the inevitable future.

Now he began to struggle, and the Captain grabbed him, holding him against his powerful muscular body. Walter went still and limp.

"Have you no words?" he asked desperately.

There was an answer, either in his ears or his mind, but it was only "Angel of Death."

"No!" But there was no point in resisting. He could become everything he hated and it wouldn't matter. His mind would be a whole thing again, but it would all belong to them, and still nothing would matter, because he was theirs, and there was no way to stop them.

The Captain continued to hold him though he was calm. When Walter began to pull away the man leaned forward and kissed him. It was a hard kiss that promised nothing but cold, but Walter opened his mouth to it, accepting what was his due. There was still no temptation, not even for a mind that worked a body that shone and more cruel kisses in the night. But when the Captain left he told no one, if only because it would do no good, and that night he dreamed of two beautiful young men pressed together in pain.


End file.
